Esther Jeon

university Student

Before Unravel, I clearly knew that what I was doing and my worldview was not one that really worked for me. It was a place of high anxiety and a lot of day-to-day stress that I realized at one point didn't have to be normal for me. 

And I just couldn't find a way to transition out of that in a consistent way. It was always in bursts of motivation like "let's try to change the way I view or do something." And it usually never stuck. And I placed a lot of fear in my day-to-day life and other people. I had a very big disconnect with myself and a bad habit of repressing everything. 

I always wanted to do the unraveling process, but I thought it'd be through therapy or some one-on-one "there's something wrong with me" kind of counseling. When I saw Unravel, I was like, "oh I can do this with a community." It felt a lot more fun. 

When I first enrolled, my big limiting belief was around money. It was the first time that I personally made that investment towards an unconventional type of class. Also: what if I don't commit, and what if it wasn't worth it in the end? What if I screw this up?

Unravel was ultimately an experience that has taught me what love is and how to love, and it's just a life-changing course. I struggle to put the Unravel course in words because it doesn't feel like a conventional course. At the core of it, it was really just working the inner parts of yourself with other people and knowing that there's so much love and acceptance that comes out of that.

I usually don't describe things as life-changing. I was skeptical with other people when they say "oh I had this life-changing experience," but Unravel is definitely one of them. And it definitely will forever remain in my heart. 

I left the Unravel journey with a type of friend in myself, also knowing what a supportive community is. 

Just being in that space, in a time where I really didn't accept a lot of parts of myself- just showing up to zooms and being like "Oh yeah, we're all going to face our fears" really helped ground it into me over those 12 weeks that "wow, I can be loved for parts of myself that I didn't think could be loved." Being shown that love and acceptance ultimately helped me find it within myself.

I am now a lot less triggered with a lot of things that usually would make me very anxious or break down emotionally. I did transition to college life recently. First semester was very bad emotionally to me and I was afraid that would happen again. This time it really helped me get through that in a way that I was not so emotionally charged. And I could actually speak with myself and my fears and just know that I would be ok ultimately. And it's been a lot less scary navigating bigger transitions.

I'm a lot less afraid to face emotions that I usually would repress and they would explode later on. 

I would describe the Unravel community as the embodiment of vulnerability and having so much love for others. I feel ultimately Cocoon was a great word to choose, because it really did have that cocooning experience. Knowing that even when everyone has hard days, there will be this support, and even if you're struggling with the course, it's totally normal and everyone will help you get through it.  I have never had that kind of community before. It gave me a lot of hope.

I feel like the Unravel journey helped me redefine self love. Self love was always something I thought was forcefully given to yourself. It was always a big point of like, "oh ok, you have these faults, but I'll still love you" kind of thing." I redefined it to it's not a "but", but it's a "because" and an  "and." Transforming that conditional type of self love to a more "I will embrace every part of who I am" has been a big redefinition. 

And besides that, it has definitely redefined how I see other individuals. I was very caught up on what I see face-value with a lot of people, like "wow it seems like they're doing super well." And just only seeing masks of people, including myself. And now I see that everyone has their own internal struggles. There's so much behind what you see at first. Just adding that layer of depth to myself and others has really helped me in my interactions with other people. 

If you're curious about yourself in any way, I'd would definitely, not just even a recommendation, just do it. I feel like you get as much as you put into the course, and even when you don't want to put in the effort, with the community, you will have so much belief in yourself if you don't have belief in yourself right now. You get so much encouragement. Way beyond expectations if you do the work. 

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